Resources: OOC Tips

These are not hard and fast rules on our game, but rather suggestions to improve everyone's RP experience. Although many of them may be applicable elsewhere, they're written with XMM in mind.

Grammar & Spelling

Nothing contributes to peoples' first impressions of you in an online format as much as how you type. Proper spelling, grammar, and capitalization, as well as avoiding chat-slang as much as possible, are a must. They help you present yourself as an intelligent and mature individual who puts forth the effort to communicate clearly with others online.

Spelling mistakes happen. We all make them and understand the occasional typo, but if you just make a blanket statement that 'I can't see teh Difference btw teh and the when I'm into a Scene, so...' what others perceive you as saying is 'You're not important enough for me to waste precious time to type properly'.

Learning disabilities are also not a good excuse. You will find that there's a lot more sympathy for someone who says 'I've got dyslexia, so I'll be posing slowly because I run my poses through spell-check' than someone who says 'I've got dyslexia, so my spelling is crap'. One is a statement that requests some tolerance because they're making an effort. The other is just an excuse. Give a little, get a little.

Some tips:

• Use a spell-checker. Most clients offer spell-check once you’ve paid for them. You can also spell-check in a word processing program or on a website like http://www.spellchecker.net/spellcheck/.
• Pay attention to capitalization – especially of ‘I’ and proper nouns.
• Remember that commas signify pauses and ellipses (...) signify trailing off . Also remember that an ellipsis has three dots, not two, or five, or seven.
• Leave the chat-speak for IM. Although we’re friendly OOCly and chat about lots of things, people prefer full, grammatically-correct sentences even in channel chat.
• Proofread a pose or channel-comment before you hit enter.

Tone

Tone can be a hard thing to grasp. Each game has a different tone; every channel and every person on each game has a different tone. Grasping the tone of a group can be key to getting along in it.

Some tips:

• Listen. Sit back and watch the lines scroll by to get a feel for the people and the personalities, and watch what they do and don't do.
• Pay attention to reactions. If people are responding eagerly, keep up what you’re doing! If they fall silent or edge into defensiveness, back off.
• Review your words without inflection to make sure they convey your intention without the benefit of voice inflection or facial expression.
• Use emoticons, but be aware of what they convey. Excessive use of a typical smiley [ :) ] can often read as passive-aggressive.

Attention Seeking

It's part of the human condition that we want to be praised for our accomplishments, consoled for our losses, and to feel like we're a member of the group. There's nothing wrong with this, it's just the way we are. However, as with anything, it can be taken to excess.

Some tips:

• Less is more. By all means, tell us about your new baby, puppy, husband or car. Just don't over-tell us. If things start going quiet, or responses start getting terse, people are probably either distracted or they've heard enough.
• If a conversation seems to be primarily between you and one other person, take it to pages or a private channel.
• Don't expect attention. We are not your parents, priests, or therapists. We're just other folks that, like you, are here to have some fun and tell some stories.
• If you wouldn't tell the person you take the bus to work with, or the guy in behind the Starbucks counter, then don't tell a public channel.
• Don't assume that friendly = best friends. We’re a community, and as such people generally try to be friendly to each other, but be careful of assuming that friendly means they want to hear all the details of your life at every turn. The best way to tell if friendship is mutual is to see if they open up to you as well as your opening up to them. If they seem hesitant or ambivalent, back off and wait.
• Don't assume that not wanting to hear gory details means they hate you.

Manipulation

There are essentially two major types of manipulative behavior seen online: passive-aggressiveness (PA) and guilt-tripping. Engaging in either is the quickest way to earn a bad reputation in an online gaming community.

Passive-aggressiveness refers to behavior in which feelings of aggression or resentment are expressed in indirect and often manipulative ways.

It can manifest itself as stubbornness, procrastination, sullenness, or guilt-tripping. Some common signs are pervasive and continual ambiguity in intentions and desires; avoidance of responsibility by blaming others, lying, making excuses, or complaining; and fostering dissatisfaction and bitterness in others.

Guilt tripping is when a person attempts to use another person's good nature and natural desire to get along in order to get their way.

Common symptoms include excessive apologies, use of a bad or stressful RL situation to excuse continuous poor behavior, statements that the player in question is now in tears/physically ill/depressed because of online occurrences, and repeated questions such as 'Do you really hate me so much?' or 'Am I really such a horrible player?'

Some tips to help avoid manipulative behavior:

• Don't use your life as an excuse to get your way or treat others poorly.
• Accept the fact that you are not always going to be right, and take the time to consider others' concerns for yourself, instead of getting immediately defensive.
• Accept that a MU* is a cooperative environment, and we all have to bend a little bit to meet this convention or that.
• Accept that there's nothing wrong with two people with incompatible styles agreeing to disagree if one or both can't adapt, and keeping out of each others’ scenes. It doesn't mean they hate each other OOC.
• Make points with logic, not emotional persuasion.
• If you're finally outvoted in a decision, either accept that gracefully and play on, or play somewhere else.
• Apologize when appropriate.
• Look at an OOC correction from a staffer or more experienced player as a learning experience rather than a slight against you.
• If you find yourself getting too emotional, log off and get some perspective.